


From The Beginning

by Mrs_Monaghan



Series: Pleasing My Readers (prompts) [78]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Cheating, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-19 02:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Monaghan/pseuds/Mrs_Monaghan
Summary: Prompt:If Mickey knew dating a married man would lead to so much pain he wouldn't have done it.If Ian knew falling so deeply would hurt so much he wouldn't have done it.(Changed Summary)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was given to me WAY before January 19th and i failed to come through. I apologise Anon but you know what they say, better late than never!
> 
>  
> 
> **HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!**

“Fuck... fuck... fuck... fuuuuuck yes. _Fuck_. That feels amazing. I love you.” Mickey moans wrapping his legs tighter around Ian’s waist while the latter continues to pound into him. “Fuck i love you.” He repeats, moaning when Ian attacks him with his lips, even though he doesn’t slow down one bit.

“I love you too Mick. Fuck, i’m gonna cum! I’m gonna...” Ian trails off, teeth digging into Mickey’s neck as he orgasms. He shudders violently against the other man and it drives Mickey right off the edge too.

Both men colapse beside each other on bed, trying to catch their breaths. They are at the Viceroy Hotel in Chicago, the place they met two years ago and have continued to meet ever since. After he’s breathing normally again, Mickey slides off the gigantic bed and walks towards the large hotel windows. He grabs a cold beer from the bucket in the table next to the clear windows. Ian leans on his elbow and admires his boyfriend’s ass (Mickey won’t let him call him that until he gets a divorce but Ian does it in his head anyway) and licks his lips.

“Hey.” he calls. Mickey doesnt turn around but its clear he’s listening. “Get away from the window and stop showing people my junk.”

Mickey snorts. “Thought it was _my_ junk?”

Ian gets off the bed too and goes to wrap his hands around Mickey’s waist. He places a gentle kiss on the shorter man’s shoulder and Mickey leans back against him with a heavy sigh. “What? What is it?” Ian asks.

Mickey takes another long sip before clearing his throat. “Two years today since we started doing this.” He says. “I don’ think i can share you for another year man.”

Ian feels a strong pang in his chest. “What are you saying?” He asks hesitantly, holding Mickey tighter while afraid of the answer.

Mickey drains his bottle, places it on the table then turns around. Placing both hands on Ian’s chest, he looks his taller lover right in the eye. “I love you, you know i do,”

“But?”

“But i can’t share you anymore Ian. It kills me everytime i look beside me in bed and you’re not there. Kills me even more thinking your with him. In his arms. I can’t... I’m tired of hurting.” Ian opens his mouth to speak but Mickey continues. “And i know it’s unfair for me to be saying this since i knew what i was getting into but dammit Ian, i didn’t know i was going to feel this way about you. I didn’t know a day would come when i would fucking hate the idea of anybody but me touching you.”

Ian nods, completely getting where Mickey is coming from. He would feel the exact same way if he was in Mickey’s shoes after all. Two years they’ve been fucking behind his husband’s back, it makes sense that Mickey is getting fed up with all the hiding. Add that to the fact that they’re in love and everything gets very complicated.  
  
He pushes back Mickey's stray hair that likes to fall forward onto his forehead. “I know Mick, and i’m working on it.”

Mickey pulls away and grabs another beer from the ice bucket. “I’m gonna need you to work faster.”

“I’m trying, i promise.”

“Yeah well, try harder.”

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

 

“I’m getting a divorce.”

  
Ian announces during one of their Gallagher get-togethers. They had had a berbecue during the day and were now in the house nursing beers while watching a movie. Ian couldn’t find a better time to let them know so he’d just blurted it out.

Fiona gasps loudly then pauses the movie. Ian braces himself for what’s coming. “You’re divorcing Gabe!” she exclaims. “What the fuck, Ian?”

“Because i don’t love him anymore.” he replies simply.

Fions stammers for a bit before settling for; “Since fucking when?”

“Since i fell in love with Mickey.”

While Fiona is busy blinking repeatedly and staring at him in shock, Debbie hugs him while Lip and Carl pat him in the back, wishing him all the best. They’ve known about Mickey for a while and have seen the change in their brother. This announcement has been a long time coming to them and Ian knew they would support his decision. Gabe hasnt’t made him happy for a while now, but Mickey does. So none of them are suprised except Fiona but Ian left her out of the loop on purpose.

“Ian, you are making no sense. You can't just decide out of nowhere that you wanna leave your husband of five years so you can date some guy named Mickey. That’s fucking ridiculous!”

Ian scoffs and shakes his head. “See, this is why i didnt’t tell you. All you see is how handsome Gabe is, or how rich he is. But you haven’t noticed that he hasn’t made me happy in a long time. Mickey cares about me, loves me, has been there for me when Gabe wasn’t. You don’t know shit Fi, so you have no right to give an opinion.”

Fiona who clearly doesn’t appreciate being blindsided with this, just gapes at him before leaning back on the chair with her arms crossed. Ian should be bothered by how fast she drops the argument but he’s too busy being excited about his decision. He should have done this a long time ago and hates that he even waited for Mickey to push him. He has no fucking clue why it took him this long. His boyfriend is going to be so happy when he hears Ian told his family. This is definitely a step forward and will hopefully give the other man the reassurance he needs that Ian truly does love him and wants to be with only him. His phone is dying and he’s charging it in the ktichen. He’ll give it a few minutes then call Mickey.

Ian and his siblings -sans Fiona- forgore the movie in favor of drinking and celebrating what is clearly good news. No one pays attention to Fiona as she slowly leaves the living room and heads to the kitchen where she last saw Ian’s phone. Her little brother is clearly not thinking straight if he thinks cheating on his husband then divorcing him is the way to go. They have an amazing relationship, what does Ian think he’s doing? Fiona wont just sit back and let this happen. Time to take matters into her own hands.

Shit.

The phone has a stupid fucking password! What is she going to do now? She tries all the possibilities she can think of but nothing works. Concluding the code has to be something to do with Mickey, she calls out; “Carl!” She puts the phone back before her youngest brother walks in.

“Sup.” Carl leans on the fridge as he sips on the beer. “If you called to ask about Mickey he’s really cool and i’d vote for him over Gabe anyday. Dude is such a pussy he freaked out after seeing my gun. Mickey showed me his.” he smirks evily like it was the best experience of his life. Now Fiona really doesn’t like this guy.

“So you’ve met him?” she asks honestly surprised.

“Yeah. Tones of times. He’s honestly the coolest Fi.” there is so much admiration in Carl’s voice and eyes, it’s baffling. How could her entire family go behind her back like this?

“When was the last time you hanged out?”

Cal tilts his head, thinking. “Two weeks ago, ‘twas his birthday.”

Fiona smiles. “Do you remember what day it was?”  
  
If there is one thing you can count on with Ian, is the fact that he’s a romantic through and through. So after finding out the birth date of this so called Mickey, it’s not hard to work out Ian’s password after that. She goes into the toilet with it and seats on the closed toilet seat. Fiona starts scrolling through messages till she finds texts from someone called _Mine_. She rolls her eyes. It’s like Ian is trying to get caught. Mickey has clearly made her brother reckless. She hates him so much already. As she continues to scroll through the messages she is shocked to see they’ve recently just celebrated their 2 year aniversary. Holy shit Ian has been cheating for 2 fucking years?! A plan forms in her head when she sees an unread message from Mickey. She is going to right this wrong Ian has made. She wont let her brother end up like everyone else in their family. She will try as much as she can to salvage his and Gabe’s marriage. So Fiona opens the message.

**Hey, how did it go with your family? Wanna meet at Viceroy, tell me all about it?**

She deletes it.

  
*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

 

Mickey shows up at Viceroy waiting for Ian bacause he knows as soon as the redhead sees the text he’ll be on his way here. He is so nervous to know the answer. He already knows that Lip, Debbie, Carl and even Liam like him but he is still very anxious. Hearing Ian mention divorce could be what makes them start discouraging Ian on their relationship. They could be against this but he wont know anything until Ian gets back to him. Mickey has been really hesitant about giving Ian that altimatum lest things didn’t go the way he hoped but he knew if he didn’t he would just continue suffering and he hated the feeling of being the side piece. He was tired of them hiding and not being able to advertise what they have.

Ian agreed to give Gabe a divorce and even though Mickey was pretty confident the redhead would say yes there was still that one percent that had him doubting if that would be the case.

He settles under the blankets and keeps checking his phone even though he already made sure its not in silent mode. He understands that Ian went over for their regular Gallagher party and for all Mickey knows the redhead could be passed out but he has hope his lover will find out he’s at their regular Viceroy hotel and come find him.

Ian doesn’t come and Mickey ends up dozing off while waiting.

  
.

  
Ian wakes up with a loud groan. He may have gone harder than he intended on the beers last night. Can’t even recall at what time he passed out. But he quickly gets out of bed to go find his phone so he can call his boyfriend. He was supposed to update Mickey last night but he didn’t get a chance so he will do it now. Except when he goes to the kitchen he cant find his phone anywhere.

“Has anyone seen my phone?” he shouts but gets no answer. “Fiona!” he yells.

“What?” his sister yawns coming down the stairs.

“My phone. Have you seen it? I left it here last night.” he points at the socket he’d connected it to.”

Fiona yawns again and shakes her head ‘no’ before opening the fridge. “Have you checked the boys’ room?”

Ian frowns but goes back upstairs to check.

 

.

  
First thing Mickey does when he wakes up is check his phone. Even though he can see on the screen saver that he has nothing from Ian he still unlocks it to be sure. Still nothing from Ian.

His heart drops.

What the hell is going on? Ian was ready to do this. He was ready to leave Gabe for Mickey. Was ready to tell his family. He even seemed happy about finally being free to be with Mickey. Did Mickey misread him? Was Ian not as excited as he seemed? Does he still love his husband? It _would_ explain why he still hasn’t left him even after claiming to be in love with Mickey. Has Mickey been wrong this entire time? That can’t be it. He refuses to believe Ian was playing him for a fool for two years.

But it happens, doesn’t it? Men wanting to have their cake and eat it too. Oh, fuck. He sits up as his heart starts to beat faster and faster. It can’t be. He knew he shouldn’t have given Ian that ultimatum. He knew it! Yeah sure he hated having to share the only man he’s ever loved. And sure he didn’t like being a dirty little secret. But he was happy. Happier than he’s ever been in his entire miserable life. And he just had to go and throw that away because what? He wanted Ian to himself?

How stupid can one man be? Mickey just lost Ian because he got too greedy. He should have been satisfied with what he already had. Now Ian is probably going back to his husband. Mickey will lose the best thing he ever had and he will have no one to blame but himself.

But just to be sure he calls Ian. This cant be it. It can’t be the end. This is not how his lovestory ends.

Except it is. Because no matter how many times he calls Ian, the phone doesn’t get picked up. Mickey curses as he paces around the room and keeps redialing. A sob escapes him when he calls for the umpteenth time only for Ian to hang up. He can’t believe it so he does it again and the call gets hanged up.

As if hanging up wasn’t bad enough, Ian hammers the final nail in the coffin when he sends a text. Mickey’s legs go weak and can’t support him anymore so he drops on the edge of the bed and reads;

**I tried Mickey, but i couldn’t. It’s time i told you the truth. Our story is a mistake. I am and have always been in love with Gabe. You will never be half the man he is and i’m sorry to tell you this but i was only using you like a cheap toy.**

Mickey reads the message, swallows, then reads it again. He blinks and shakes his head trying to make sense of this cold hearted text message. He keeps reading it over and over until the text gets blurry and he realises he’s tearing up. His phone slides out of his hand and falls to the carpet. Mickey sniffs and rubs his palms into his eyes. He tries so fucking hard but ends up sobbing anyway. He tries to reign in the hurt and the tears but it doesn’t work.

_You will never be half the man he is_

Mickey knew there was a chance Ian would pick Gabe over him but he had no idea he would be so fucking brutal about it.

_I am and have always been in love with Gabe_

Two years. Two whole fucking years Mickey has wasted on a man and for what? For him to be thrown aside like gabbage? For him to be treated like he was nothing? Two years and everything they shared was a fucking lie. How could he, a Milkovich have been so fucking stupid?

_I was only using you like a cheap toy._

That’s probably the part that hurts the most. Because it’s true, isn’t it? Ian just pretty much admitted to chewing him and then spitting him out. Mickey cannot believe how wrong he was about Ian. He thought the redhead was the sweetest man he has ever met. Sometimes he makes fun of him for how soppy he is. But give a man an ultimatum and find out his true colors.

Mickey doesn’t know how long he lies there balling his eyes out. It gets even more painful everytime he replays their moments together. He wants so bad to get back those 24 months he wasted on a man that clearly wasn’t worth it. Guess this is what he gets for dating a married man. The pain in his chest is so intense he can feel his heart physically breaking. He clutches at his chest and just lies there, letting it all out.

Fuck Ian Gallagher. Fuck him for making Mickey feel like he had a chance. Fuck him for lying to Mickey that he was in love with him. Fuck him. Fuck Ian Gallagher for inflicting so much pain that Mickey doesn’t deserve. Fuck. Him.

Mickey replays the text and can't help but feel like the biggest fool to ever walk the face of the earth.

Guess this _is_ how his lovestory ends after all.

Mickey leaves the hotel, destroys his sim card, goes to his place, packs his shit and leaves. He doesn’t even have a destination in mind. All he knows is that he needs to be as far away from Chicago as he can. Maybe the more distance there is his heart will stop feeling like it’s being stomped on.

He’s wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I am a lying liar who lies and cannot be trusted. But here we go Anon. I am so sorry.

The man who's name Mickey doesn't know but is drinking next to him shakes his head. "They always go back." He says and Mickey sniffs staring at his empty glass. "Never believe a married man when they say they're leaving their wife. Or in your case, husband. They never do."

Mickey hits his empty mug on the table to get the waiter's attention. "Whiskey. Fucking bottle." Beer simply won't do anymore. Not with this stranger telling it like it is.

"I'm sorry dude." Stranger who Mickey for some reason opened up to says. "This must suck."

"No shit."

Mickey had been driving for 17 hours when he decided he needed some rest. He pulled up at the first INN he saw and checked in before hitting the closest pub. Now here he was telling a total stranger what Ian had done to him.

It had been a shitty day for Mickey. He hated his life, he hated everything he stood for, he could not believe that he had fallen in love with a married man. What kind of person does that? What was he thinking? Why did he even do it? He doesn't understand why he did that. Not after the cruel messages Ian had sent, making Mickey now realise that he really shouldn't have done what he did. It was wrong dating a married man to begin with, it was even worse falling in love with said married man. He shouldn't have done it. This is a decision he's gonna regret for the rest of his life. Mickey doesn't know where to go from here. He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know who to call, he doesn't know what steps to take. Ian was his everything.

Mickey chuckles to himself.

He loved that fucking red head. Still does. Did he fuck up my dating a married man? Probably. But he would have done anything for Ian. _Fuck._ Why did Ian have to go and taint what they had by sending those messages? They were painful to read, they were heartless (they still are since Mickey keeps re-playing them in his mind since he's a sucker for punishment) and Ian clearly didn't love him if he could send something like that. He drinks some more of his whiskey, not caring about how he will feel tomorrow. All he needs is to forget Ian, forget he's in love, forget the relationship ever happened. He just needs to erase every single thing that's on his mind when it comes to the red head. Even if just for tonight.

Mickey is hurting.

Mickey is in pain and he hates it. He hates it so much and he would do anything not to be in this position. In all his life, he never thought a day would come when he would be drinking himself to a fucking stooper just because a man broke his heart. Of all the things, of all the situations in his life, he has never pictured himself in the current state he's in. That he would be here in this moment, hurting and wanting to cry, wanting to _fucking cry_ because another man took his heart, threw it on the ground and fucking stomped on it. Mickey cannot understand how he got himself into this mess.

When he met Ian he did not think that the sweet, kind, gentle, soft man would be the one to make him feel as shitty as he does now and he does not understand why Ian would do what he did after he promised that he was going to divorce Gabe. Mickey needs to know, he needs answers. But at the same time he is glad he wrecked his phone, glad he left Chicago, because after everything he did for Ian, that man does not deserve him. That man does not deserve his love. He does not deserve his time and he hopes Ian will feel as bad as he feels when he finds out that mickey just up and left.

But that's the problem isn't it?

Maybe Ian won't care. Maybe Ian will be happy to have Mickey out of his life. Maybe Ian won't give a fuck, because after those cruel messages the only thing Mickey can think of is that Ian did not give a shit about him. Ian did not care about the love they build, not after the messages he sent. There's no way Ian will be heartbroken, there's no way Ian will feel the way Mickey feels in this moment. And that makes Mickey hate himself, hate the fact that he chose a man who would treat him this way to fall in love with in the first place.

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

Ian wants to die. 

He can't breathe.

His boyfriend is _gone_. 

Gone as in, he cannot find Mickey anywhere. He has searched everywhere. At his brothers' houses, he has searched Mandy's house, he has called Mickey's work. He has looked _everywhere_ but he can't find Mickey! When Ian had called his boyfriend the first few times and his calls didn't go through, he wasn't worried. But when he called Mickey's work and found out that his boyfriend suddenly quit, he knew something was very wrong.

Where is Mickey? What could have happened? Where has he gone? His calls arent going through, his apartment has been cleared, he quit his job. Ian is having a hard time understanding what the fuck is going on. Last time he checked they had a lovely time at the hotel so what could have gone wrong between last night and today? Why would Mickey just up and leave like that without saying anything? Why is his phone off? Why did he quit his job? Ian has a million fucking questions. He doesn't understand. He needs someone to explain to him what is going on because this is absurd! It makes no fucking sense.

He can't breathe. He needs to breathe.

_Shit_

Ian looks at his phone. Even though the last few times he has called Mickey it went voicemail he still dials. It goes to voicemail. Again. He's trying really hard not to cry right now. But he knows he can't hold off for much longer. He wishes he understood. He wishes he had a clue as to what happened. Nothing makes any sense. Nothing. He woke up this morning with a smile on his face, needing to talk to his boyfriend. Needing to see the love of his life only to find out that the man had disappeared without a word.

"Where are you Mickey?" he asks the empty kitchen. He's at his matremonial home, too stunned and confused to go to work or do anything really. "Where are you? Please tell me where you are."

Ian is going crazy. With every missed phone call his heart breaks. With the realisation that Mickey is not around anymore his chest hurts, the pounding of his heart seemingly louder. He lays his head on the kitchen counter. He does not know where Gabe is and he doesn't care because Ian is not in a position to deal with that man right now. Gabe may be his husband but the man Ian cares about is missing.

What exactly went wrong? What happened? What could have made Mickey do what he did? Last night they had a wonderful time, after which they had a conversation and Ian had agreed to leave his husband for Mickey. So why would his boyfriend leave like this and why would he do it with no explanation?

Had had he gotten tired of waiting?

No. That's not right because Ian was leaving his husband and Mickey knew this. Hell, Mickey asked him to! So what else, what else could have made Mickey just disappear like this? Ian sniffs. This is the worst day of his life. He needs a fucking explanation. He needs to know or else he's gonna go crazy. He's already going crazy. Fuck.

Ian dials the phone again. It goes to voicemail, again. Fuck. 

"Are you alright?" Ian startles from hearing the sound of his husband's voice. He sniffs and stands up straight.

"Yeah." he replies.

Gabe stands there and looks at him, blinking. Doesn't say anything. He asks again. "Everything alright?" Ian looks at his husband.

"You know what? No, everything's not alright. I want a divorce."

Gabe drops his head and stares at the floor for a few minutes. Nothing comes out of his mouth. Ian waits. When Gabe finally looks up again, he just shakes his head and chuckles but there's no humour in it. His soon to be ex-husband licks his lips and shakes his head again.

"I'm not surprised. I saw this coming but it doesn't hurt any less." Gabe says looking out the window. "Tell me the truth Ian." He turns back to the redhead. "Is there someone else?" 

Mickey is missing. His phone is off, he left his work, his apartment has been cleared. The last thing Ian wants to do right now is to spare Gabe's feelings so he says; "Yes. There's someone else. I am in love with another man."

Gabe nods like he was expecting it. "That's all I wanted to know, thank you. I'll go pack my shit."

"Fuck."

Ian cannot believe he just did that. He cannot believe he just told his husband he wants a divorce. If the circumstances were different he would've followed Gabe up and maybe apologised. But right now he's too worried. He wonders if leaving Gabe is pointless now because his reason for leaving is nowhere to be found.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I will not keep u that long. I am already typing up the last chapter. I have some shit to do today. But if I don't post today I will try my best to do it tomorrow.   
> I am still getting my groove back. So I apologise


	3. Chapter 3

Ian gets a divorce anyway.

It's something he should've done ages ago. If not for Mickey, then for himself _and_ for Gabe. The man should be free to also find someone who will love him and treat him better than Ian did. Lip is his lawyer and the both of them sit across a huge table facing Gabe and his lawyer. Ian tunes the proceedings out. He's the one who cheated so by right Gabe decides what he wants and then leaves what he doesn't for Ian. But honestly the furthest thing on Ian's mind is fucking property right now. 

None of that shit matters. Not if Mickey is still nowhere to be found. Where could he have gone? More importantly, when is this fucking shit gonna end so he can start looking for him again? He sighs and leans back on his seat. He stares out the window, doesn't care for what's going on. Lip will take care of what needs to be done and soon Ian will walk away from this building and be on his way. 

Problem is, where is he even looking? Mickey told his siblings that he had no idea where he was going and that he would call them once he was settled. It's only been 4 days. They've heard nothing from Mickey and none of them are worried because; _Mickey can take care of himself._  

Fuck.

Ian is going to lose it. He knows he will. 

 

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

Mickey wouldn't exactly call it adjusting but, he's getting there. He still thinks about Ian first thing when he wakes up, during the day when he's distracted and at night before he falls asleep. So yeah, he wouldn't call it adjusting. But he's trying. After he'd gotten a new phone, he'd contacted his former boss and apologised for leaving suddenly before practically grovelling for a fucking resume. The guy had of course been a dick about it, but he'd sent it. So Mickey had gotten a new job, and had settled into a new apartment, and was living a normal life again. 

If you call thinking about the redhead every minute or everyday and turning down guys that want him because he still loves his ex (or whatever Ian was) normal. Then yes, he is living a normal life. 

Mickey oddly wonders if he'll ever be happy again. 

 

 

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

                Three months later find Ian in Rockford. 

He's never been here before but he appreciates that his boss sent him outside Chicago for a business mingling of sorts. Well, his boss didn't select him personally, it's just that no one wanted to go to a meeting outside Chicago so Ian had volunteered. He could use the travelling, a change of scenery to get his mind off things. Everything in Chicago reminds him of Mickey. The love of his life that ran off with no explanation whatsoever. 

Apart from the fact that still being in love with Mickey prevents him from doing so, Ian doesn't think he will ever truly be able to move on without closure. He has no idea why Mickey ran. Why he left without saying anything. He wishes he knew. He wishes his ex had at least talked to him before disappearing. Then Ian would've known what he did wrong. 

As it turns out, he didn't. And three months later, Ian is still unhappy but holding out hope that one of these days Mickey will contact him or come back. Or something! 

 

Ian arrives at the **Radisson Hotel and Conference Centre Rockford** at 9:00PM. He gives his name and that of his company, checks in and goes up to his room. He slumps back on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a big sigh. In this setting, it's not hard to think about the day he met Mickey. It was at a conference just like this one at the Viceroy hotel in Chicago. They had been mingling just like everyone else and talking business, when they first saw each other. It was during that time when Ian had realised he'd fallen out of love with Gabe and was only staying with him out of obligation.

Ian remembers as soon as their eyes locked, there had been no words exchanged. Immediately, drinks where being downed and then Ian was following Mickey upstairs. They'd exchanged names _after_ giving each other orgasms. 

Ian smirks recalling how much they'd laughed at that. 

And then after that, Ian couldn't stop thinking about Mickey and he'd gone back to the hotel to find out his company details. He'd seeked the brunette out and asked him out on a date.

That had been that. 

Ian had had the best two years of his life until Mickey disappeared _after_ Ian had agreed to get a divorce for him. 

That will forever not make sense to Ian. 

He forgoes undressing and gets under the covers, thinking about the business party that awaits him the next morning. 

He's not looking forward to it.

 

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

 

           Mickey yawns and covers it with his glass of champagne. He looks around the hotel. He's been to plenty of these business parties from his former job. It's how he met Ian. Well, he knows one thing for sure, this won't be as fun as all the other's have always been. Even if he's two more glasses to getting tipsy. Shit, before he got this job he used to underestimate champagne but a few many times he's gotten drunk from it so he knows what it's capable of.

Speaking of his job, something occurs to him.

Working in the same field meant that Ian and Mickey always found themselves in the same place at the same time without even having planned it. Mickey's heart statters when it occurs to him Ian could be at this hotel, but then he remembers he moved to Rockford and didn't even tell his family. Ian has never been sent outside Chicago so he won't be here.

Mickey visibly exhales in relief. 

He cannot see Ian. Not after; _I was only using you like a cheap toy._  That's the worst thing anyone has ever said to Mickey. And God knows he's been called plenty in his life. Or maybe it hurts more because it came from a person he thought loved him back. 

Mickey is just starting to calm down and is breathing normally again when he hears a voice he never thought he ever would again. 

"Mickey? Is that you?" 

Mickey tenses all over. His hands instantly get sweaty and he put his champagne glass down so he doesn't drop it and draw attention. His lower lip starts to tremble and his throat clumps up. He can't even turn around. 

Hearing Ian's voice has him thinking about that hurtful message and his heart starts to break all over again.

"Fuck Mickey."

Ian's voice sounds shaky and too emotional. Mickey cannot be here. 

.

 

Ian quickly puts his -probably tenth- glass down when Mickey starts to walk away and he quickly follows. Just like the first time they met. Only difference it, there's no sexual tension this time. 

"MICKEY STOP!" He yells when the other man breaks into a light jog, trying to manoeuvre himself between fellow business people dressed in suits. "Fuck." Ian curses when the order only makes Mickey speed up.

Ian stops the elevator doors from closing by putting both hands on either side. Mickey won't look at him. He's purposely avoiding his eyes. 

"Mickey please, what did I do?" Ian pleads and the shorter man presses a button and the lift starts moving. Ian stops infront of him when the elevator stops but Mickey pushes him aside and walks out. "Mickey you have to tell me what I did!" He shouts just as Mickey unlocks what must be his room. Shit. Ian can't believe they actually slept in the same hotel last night. 

Mickey once again ignores him and pushes the door open. Ian however doesn't let him close it. He quickly places his body against the door knowing Mickey is very strong and obstructs it. 

 When Mickey finally looks up, Ian swallows. He expected to find anger in those eyes from the way Mickey's been acting but that's not what he sees. 

Hurt.

Mickey looks hurt. 

"Ian. Please. Let me go." 

"No!" Ian exclaims. "Not until you tell me what I did!" The redhead is adamant. 

Mickey blinks up at him in confusion. "What are you...? You're the one..." 

Ian is tipsy. Ian is still very much in love with Mickey. Ian has missed the other man so much. Ian is overwhelmed by his presence. Maybe it's all those reasons. Maybe it's just the fact that it's _Mickey_. But he doesn't hear the rest of what the other man says. He just grabs the back of Mickey's neck and pulls him in.

 

.

 

Mickey absolutely _hates_ the fact that he doesn't even freeze. Doesn't hesitate. Doesn't push Ian away. His body just automatically responds to the redhead like there has been no time lost between them. Like Ian didn't say the nastiest shit to him and break his heart so fucking mercilessly. 

Mickey's head remembers all that but his heart and his body only register that _Ian_ is touching him, Ian is kissing him. Desperately. Ian is undressing him and throwing him on the bed. Mickey just licks his lips and tries to calm his fast beating heart as he watches Ian undress like the flash. Mickey's pretty sure the redhead looses buttons in the process. 

He opens his hands and legs wide and inviting and Ian doesn't hesitate to get in there as soon as the last piece of clothing is gone. 

"Fuck." Ian curses as soon as he's on ontop of Mickey realising they are not prepared in the least. And yet he is so hard for Mickey he's thinks he'll die if he doesn't get inside him _now_. 

 As if reading his mind, Mickey pushes him off and crawls towards the end of the bed. He's got lube in his suitcase since he's still a man with needs after all. Granted he's only had his right hand the last 3 months but still. He gasps loudly when he feels a tongue in his ass as he bends over to search through his suitcase. Ian has always been an impatient fucker. 

"Will you just... shit... give me a second? Shit." 

"Can't wait. Need you." Is the reply he gets before Ian really shoves his tongue in Mickey's hole. 

Fucking Christ. How has he made it this long without this man? He pulls away and turns around ignoring Ian's protests. He shoves the lube on the other man's chest. "Fucking get to." 

 

 

*** )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( * )( ***

 

 

Ian hears movement and stirs awake. He panics when he sees Mickey has finished dressing and is preparing to leave. The redhead jumps out of the bed and infront of his ex, blocking his path towards the door. 

"Don't."

Mickey sighs then tongues the inside of his cheek. "I gotta go Ian. I _can't_ be here." 

Ian swallows loudly. "Mickey you _have_ to tell me what I did. I will never be at peace unless you do." 

Mickey gives him the same confused look he gave him last night before they jumped each other's bones. "The fuck Ian? _You're_ the one who ended us. _You're_ the one who sent me that cruel fucking message." Mickey stabs him in the chest with his fore finger. "You're the reason I left!"

Ian staggers back and has to support himself. "Mick, I have no idea what you're taking about." 

Mickey runs a hand across his hair and goes to sit on the bed. "Don't do this Ian. I don't... I can't." 

"Mick..."

"YOU TORE MY FUCKING HEART OUT!" He's so loud and angry that Ian flinches and shrinks in on himself. "You lied about leaving him then said he was better than me and that you used me like a fucking... Like a fucking toy." Mickey's shoulders slump as all the fight leaves him. "You did this. Not me." He breathes, staring down Ian. "So stop fucking asking what you did when you broke my heart. You knew how I felt about you, you knew..."

Mickey trails off when Ian comes to kneel infront of him and take both his hands.

"Mickey stop." 

Ian takes a breath and ponders on what Mickey is saying. This is some serious shit. Mickey _can't_ be making this up. The man uprooted his life and left Chicago. But at the time Ian didn't, would _never_ say any of those things to Mickey. His mind automatically goes to his ex husband but that can't be since when Ian saw Gabe Mickey had already skipped town. He frowns hard but he can't come up as to who could have sent Mickey that message.

But no way Mickey is lying. Not about this. 

Mickey is looking down at him, waiting. Because he also needs to know what happened. He has been confused since it all happened. 

"I didn't send such a message." Ian decides to start with that. "Let just get that out of the way first." 

Mickey pulls his hands away and Ian's heart clenches painfully. "I called like a million times. I tried to talk to you but you kept hanging up and then you sent that, that fucking message." Mickey explains because that's what happened. What is Ian talking about?

"I didn't send that message! I didn't break up with you! Think about it Mick. What reason did I have to send that? We had just celebrated our two year anniversary. I had agreed to leave Gabe for fuck's sake. Why would I send something like that? Why would I say I used you like a toy when all I ever did was love you? Mickey it's me. Ian. Your Ian. _I didn't send that message_."

Mickey stands up, sniffing and wiping his eyes. He walks and stares out the window. Ian takes that opportunity to pull on some underwear and a t-shirt. He can't be stark naked if they're to have this conversation.  

"Then who did it?" Mickey asks quietly. Hands around himself. "If you didn't text me then who did?" 

Ian shrugs even though Mickey can't see him. "I don't know Mick. All I know is that it wasn't me." He goes and stands behind the other man. "I love you." He practically whispers. "I always have. You would break up with me before I broke up with you." He confesses. "And that's the honest to God truth." 

Mickey shakes his head. "I don't know what to say Ian. All this time..."

"Say you still love me." Ian says wrapping his hands around Mickey and smiling when the shorter man completely relaxes against him. "Say you still want me." 

"I can't."

Ian forgets how to breathe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so.... this story refuses to end. Tihihihihi


End file.
